Saturday, April 28, 2007

Some US Intelligence Agency Credos

(9) FBI,CIA & NSA Credos

1. When we want the American citizen's opinion we'll give it to them.

2. We didn't realize that we were illegally spying on the Marino Family in their own home over the past 25 years. We just stopped by and lost track of the time. Ya know, it does happen...

3. We're interested in prosecuting criminal activity as long as it is not our own. Please do not bring up our own criminal activity or we'll have to hurt you -- real bad.

4. Yes, of course we use entrapment to create criminals. How else do you expect us to arrest innocent citizens if we can't entrap them first? Duh...

5A. The FBI did not blow environmental activist Judi Bari up in her car. Honest. It was just a strange coincidence that we were holding an explosives seminar in the vicinity of the bombing at the time. Really...

5B. Our FBI defense attorney was absolutely right in saying that Judi Bari was faking having cancer while she was being deposed in her trial against us. She even faked her own death 6 weeks later just to make us look bad. Don't believe a thing about her funeral. It was all a put on just to make the FBI look bad. Really it was...

6. The Federal Marshals who ended up in a shoot out with the Weaver Family did not realize they were illegally trespassing on the Weaver's property at the time. If they had they would not have deliberately tossed rocks at the side of the Weaver home to agitate their dogs in order to provoke a confrontation with the Weavers. They were just a bunch of innocent guys looking for directions. The fact that Vicki and Sammy Weaver would be killed by them and FBI sniper Lon Horiuchi was just one of those things. Really....

7. That 6000 pages of exculpatory evidence we had regarding AIM activist Leonard Peltier got lost by our cleaning staff. We'd never let an innocent man rot in prison. Honest....

8. We at the FBI believe that entirely too much is being made of the Branch Davidian situation. They tried to live their lives in peace away from the rest of us. How dare they do such an Un-American thing! Don't believe those photos of the charred remains of women and small children -- they are fakes -- honest!

9. The CIA is not the second largest drug trafficker in the United States. It is the oldest and largest drug trafficker, by far... Just ask former President George H. W. Bush. -- Oops, we actually made a mistake and told the truth on this one. It happens now and then.


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